The irony of this title makes me ponder. There is no balancing in my life. Everyone is short-changed. I don’t work enough hours, I don’t spend enough time with my children, my housework, my husband, my dog. I spend 100% of my time giving all that I have to satisfy no one. Anyone who pretends otherwise is merely satisfying the “act” portion of this title.
My friends who stay home with children feel that they have a disproportionate amount of responsibility for the child rearing. They lose themselves somewhere in the care-taking of others. I also fear for their financial futures as they don’t typically contribute to any retirement accounts, but that is a whole other topic.
The mothers I know who work part time are neither given credit for having a job nor for having the primary responsibility for the children. This is an underpaid and under-appreciated position to be in. Nothin like a “twofer” to make you feel really good at what you do.
So what is the solution? As a career woman, I have killed myself for 15 years to achieve a certain position. Am I suppose to suddenly slam on the brakes for a life at home with children? I don’t think I would make a particularly good stay-at-home mother. I can’t cook. I can’t clean. But every moment away from my kids is like an eternity. I want to snuggle and hug them all the time. To quote my son when he hugs me, “Ooh, I just can’t get enough of you!” I wonder if they even know how much it hurts to be away from them. I don’t let it show because I know it’s hard for them, too.
No one gets enough of me. And that, of course, includes me. There are people in my life who don’t understand why I don’t answer the phone when it rings. I get between the hours of 6-8 at night to be with my children. I don’t want to talk to anyone else. When I am with my kids, I am with my kids. Exclusively. It’s the only balance I can achieve. No body robs them of their time. So I am kind of a lackluster friend and a terrible daughter-in-law, but there are some sacrifices to be made and they will not be made by my children anymore than they have already.
I have pondered about making my entire blog about this topic. As you can see, I have much to say on the subject. I just hate talking about it.
Gee, I hope I’m a better mother than I think I am…
[...] Original post by centcobility [...]
Hi Melissa,
Thanks for sharing.
As a part-timer I do feel under-appreciated and that I don’t fit into a category. Thanks for recognizing that. I think that the key to the “balancing act” is taking it day by day. When I feel off-balance, like I haven’t spent enough quality time with my kids, I find if I make the time to spend with them, I can restore my balance. The same goes for work, if I feel I’m not giving it my all and things are suffering, I forgo the afternoon with the kids. It’s all about going with your instincts to successfully walk that line. Atleast I try
Best,
Jill Besnoy
honestbaby.com